upheaving
Today was a day of change I suppose.
There was a new intern there. She's pretty outgoing, confident, seems to know her stuff (what the.... she's only just finished 3rd year!), and has attached herself to the doc-who's-good-at-medicine-whom-I've-been-trying-to-be-in-a-consult-with-forever. Well she's the one who kinda baulked at the thought of becoming my supervisor and now she's taken on the new intern which leaves me with the surgery guy, really.
I guess that's not bad, in the sense that I am more interested in surgery. But I wanted to stick with her for a bit just to improve my medicine. Cos surgery I can always look but not actually do anything complicated (or even simple), but medicine I could probably pick stuff up along the way. Forces me to use my brain too. Now it'll be just weird if she has 2 interns following her around.
Today was a day of doing many things. Attempting more like it. I wasn't actually successful in alot of them, and I don't know if people are getting tired of letting me try stuff and me failing. Like collecting blood. Failed so many times it's not even funny. And putting an ET tube down. I was fine with it in America.. I don't know why I can't seem to do it here. Maybe cos of the lack of light to actually see the structures? And putting catheters in. It feels as though the more I do something, the worse I get at it :( That seems to be the story of my life in general actually :/
On another note, I got to put a dog down today. Catheter was too long the first time (didn't even think, I just used the one already on the table, all opened up waiting for me to use it), so tried again, got it. Put it to sleep. Then asked if I could open and close it up just for the sake of it and to practice suturing. Doc said ok and said "what you're officially doing shall be called an autopsy". So I spent the next hour (I must've taken AGES cos time flew by) or so happily cutting it open and looking through the organs then slowly practicing my stitches on it.
What I didn't know was that the owner came by later, asking to see the dog, and the vet techs had to say that it'd already been cremated cos the sutures were still there, with the hair in the area clipped and everything :/ BJ wasn't too happy with me by then. I only found out when I wanted to try castrating another dog that had just been put down and the head vet was like "nahh better not then" even though he'd said yes previously.
The last conundrum was that some vets had been venting about some other vets in other practices and I think the head vet had a word with one of them, cos I kinda had to walk past them in mid convo and caught him saying to her "you really shouldnt talk badly about other vets in front of the students" and I just wanted to walk past them but they kinda ended their convo when I went past and the head vet then asks me "Do you wanna go down to the branches to see what it's like there?" and went on to explain that it's good to see how places with limited vets and resources carry out their roles etc. He could pretty much arrange it for me to go there if I wanted but I kinda like the main place I'm in now (though yeah, I suppose it would be good for me to see something different). I don't know if he just wants less interns there and it's all kinda coming together such that if I went off for a bit there'd be less people that need supervising etc.
So... I don't know what's to become of me. I still don't have an official supervisor. Only really left with 2 senior vets but I don't wanna become more of a burden to them. And I like the people in this main practice and don't really wanna have to establish myself all over again in the other place but that's what 5th year seems to be all about...
I know not everyday can be a good day, there's bound to be some down days too. I just hope that the thing that's pulling me through (ie, that these down days do happen and they won't last forever) is true.
There was a new intern there. She's pretty outgoing, confident, seems to know her stuff (what the.... she's only just finished 3rd year!), and has attached herself to the doc-who's-good-at-medicine-whom-I've-been-trying-to-be-in-a-consult-with-forever. Well she's the one who kinda baulked at the thought of becoming my supervisor and now she's taken on the new intern which leaves me with the surgery guy, really.
I guess that's not bad, in the sense that I am more interested in surgery. But I wanted to stick with her for a bit just to improve my medicine. Cos surgery I can always look but not actually do anything complicated (or even simple), but medicine I could probably pick stuff up along the way. Forces me to use my brain too. Now it'll be just weird if she has 2 interns following her around.
Today was a day of doing many things. Attempting more like it. I wasn't actually successful in alot of them, and I don't know if people are getting tired of letting me try stuff and me failing. Like collecting blood. Failed so many times it's not even funny. And putting an ET tube down. I was fine with it in America.. I don't know why I can't seem to do it here. Maybe cos of the lack of light to actually see the structures? And putting catheters in. It feels as though the more I do something, the worse I get at it :( That seems to be the story of my life in general actually :/
On another note, I got to put a dog down today. Catheter was too long the first time (didn't even think, I just used the one already on the table, all opened up waiting for me to use it), so tried again, got it. Put it to sleep. Then asked if I could open and close it up just for the sake of it and to practice suturing. Doc said ok and said "what you're officially doing shall be called an autopsy". So I spent the next hour (I must've taken AGES cos time flew by) or so happily cutting it open and looking through the organs then slowly practicing my stitches on it.
What I didn't know was that the owner came by later, asking to see the dog, and the vet techs had to say that it'd already been cremated cos the sutures were still there, with the hair in the area clipped and everything :/ BJ wasn't too happy with me by then. I only found out when I wanted to try castrating another dog that had just been put down and the head vet was like "nahh better not then" even though he'd said yes previously.
The last conundrum was that some vets had been venting about some other vets in other practices and I think the head vet had a word with one of them, cos I kinda had to walk past them in mid convo and caught him saying to her "you really shouldnt talk badly about other vets in front of the students" and I just wanted to walk past them but they kinda ended their convo when I went past and the head vet then asks me "Do you wanna go down to the branches to see what it's like there?" and went on to explain that it's good to see how places with limited vets and resources carry out their roles etc. He could pretty much arrange it for me to go there if I wanted but I kinda like the main place I'm in now (though yeah, I suppose it would be good for me to see something different). I don't know if he just wants less interns there and it's all kinda coming together such that if I went off for a bit there'd be less people that need supervising etc.
So... I don't know what's to become of me. I still don't have an official supervisor. Only really left with 2 senior vets but I don't wanna become more of a burden to them. And I like the people in this main practice and don't really wanna have to establish myself all over again in the other place but that's what 5th year seems to be all about...
I know not everyday can be a good day, there's bound to be some down days too. I just hope that the thing that's pulling me through (ie, that these down days do happen and they won't last forever) is true.
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